UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

Lands of our Fathers, Part the First

Knight Horse and Sword by h.koppdelaney @ Flickr

Ok, this is getting long enough that I’m going to have to break it into chapters.-jb

Carolina del Norte wasn’t such a bad place. If one had to be a prisoner in a foreign kingdom, there were certainly worse kingdoms out there, with much worse rulers. I was free to wander as I chose, within the realm and under guard of course, but free to come and go as I pleased. My only other real restriction was that I was required to appear before him when summoned for whatever reason, at any time of day or night. He didn’t call often during the day, so that was a minor inconvenience for the most part. I slept in his bed, so I didn’t have far to go when he called in the night.

Still, it wasn’t home. No matter how well he treated me, no matter how well he fucked me, I was still a prisoner in the end. Long nights of physical pleasure would never fill the hole drilled in my heart by the memories of my frozen homeland. I was born to rule the hinterland, not the warm shores of the land by the sea.

I was out in the rolling hills of the countryside on the day I heard the news about my father. Having decided to bathe in the fresh, clear water of Lake Destiny, I had dismounted my horse, and was just contemplating whether I could swim to the far shore faster than my guards’ horses could race around when they first noticed the messenger at a full gallop coming over a distant hill.

“I suppose that is a summons to appear at court,” I intoned. “Your liege will just have to wait this day until I’ve finished bathing.” I paused and gave my watchers the customary icy stare, waiting futilely for a moment for them to turn their heads. They were new to my detail, but had apparently been forewarned about me. They stared back, unconcerned with my belligerence. They were definitely better prepared than my last detail was on their first day.

(Continued below the fold)

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Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Erotica, Friends, Literature, Literature and Literotica, Romance,

It’s Coming, Damnit

For those of you keeping track, you know I’ve been doing birthday stories for friends, and a few of you may still be lurking around who realize that today is Mandi‘s birthday.

Her story started out as a short tale, but has been growing uncontrollably.

Apologies for the delay. Sometimes, the stories do what they please and there’s not much I can do about it.

Filed under: About, Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, ,

Pin-up Bloggers!

2009 Sex Bloggers Calendar

A dozen of your favorite New York City sex bloggers and sex educators are joining together to support Sex Work Awareness, a non-profit whose mission statement says it all:

We believe that all sex workers have a right to self-determination; to choose how we make a living and what we do with our bodies.

We aim to empower our diverse community by building the capacity of sex worker-serving and sex worker member-based institutions as well as the skills and resources of sex workers themselves.

We also conduct research about sex workers and the sex industry in order to better understand it, develop public education initiatives, and advocate for the rights of sex workers.

The theme is burlesque. The poses will be sexy. And who will be posing? Take a look, below the fold!

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Filed under: Art, Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Friends, Images, Photos, Sex, ,

Virtual Vamp

Gothic by OctaviS @ Flickr

“You’ll have to be more specific, Steph. ‘Danger’ doesn’t really help me here.” I wanted to give her the best experience I could, really show off the system, but her reticence was beginning to wear on me.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

Crap. I really like Steph, but sometimes she’s a huge pain in my ass. I still had to get Rystefn’s holo done, and that project was taking forever, what with the little free time I had to work on it, and with his um.. needs.

“Steph, it’d just be a lot easier for me, and a lot better for you in the end, if you were just frank. You can go anywhere, do anything, be anyone, if you just tell me what to program…”

“Wait. I can be anyone?”

“Sure, why not? I mean, I can’t make you six feet tall without a ton of work, but the computer can do some minor body adjustments. Want to be blonde? Black hair? 18 years old? Whatever. That stuff’s pretty easy to do.”

“Black hair. I want black hair and forever young. Like a vampire.”

“ah, see now we’re getting somewhere. A vampire I can do. What else?”

“Could you do a little something about..”

I smiled. “Sure Steph. Our little secret. Should be ready by Friday, how’s that? Then you’ll have the whole weekend.”

Steph smiled that all too rare big grin of hers. “See you Friday!”

I called Kate. This was going to be good.

(Story continues below the fold)

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Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Erotica, Friends, Literature, Literature and Literotica, Sex, , ,

Happy Birthday, Mr. Haubrich

E3 Beauty. by G2 Pics @ FlickrDamn it. I wasn’t supposed to be working interrogations this week.

I was risking blowing three years of work on the force, not to mention my life, but I didn’t have any choice. This case was too important to not push my way onto it.

I had just pulled the waistband of the mini up over my hips when Becky stepped around the long row of lockers. I was still deciding how I was going to explain my insistence on taking the case, and hadn’t worked out the details yet. I opted to distract her, to give me more time to think.

“I love those heels, Janie. When you bend over to put them on, it really does something for me.”

Yeah, I knew that. That’s why I did it. “You do?” Upside down, I batted my eyes at her from around my thighs, my voice dripping with playfully faux innocence. Becky might have been my boss, but she was putty in my hands. I strapped on the second shoe, and set my feet as wide as the skirt would allow.

“I think you might need to check to make sure I’m ready for duty, Captain.”

Becky smiled broadly, and stepped up close behind me. She reached up under my skirt and grabbed me roughly, dragging her fingers hard over my thong. Pulling it aside, she plunged two fingers inside and reached for the back of my head, yanking me halfway upright by my long auburn locks. After working her fingers around a moment, she pulled me upright and extracted her fingers. I let her spin me around to bring us nose to nose as she tasted her fingers, sucking one completely clean before offering me the second.

Staring straight into her eyes, I remained silent while I waited for her appraisal.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re ready, I could smell it from three feet away, you horny bitch. Our friend Mr. Haubrich won’t stand a chance against you with all that musk in the air.”

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Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Erotica, Friends, Literature, Literature and Literotica, Sex, , ,

LOL Bush Library

A peek above our garters to Musicguy for this:

The George W. Bush Presidential Library is now in the planning stages.

The Library will include:

The Hurricane Katrina Room , which is still under construction.
The Alberto Gonzales Room, where you won’t be able to remember anything.
The Texas Air National Guard Room, where you don’t even have to show up.
The Walter Reed Hospital Room, where they don’t let you in.
The Guantanamo Bay Room, where they don’t let you out.
The Weapons of Mass Destruction Room, which no one has been able to find.
The National Debt room which is huge and has no ceiling.
The ‘Tax Cut’ Room with entry only to the wealthy.
The ‘Economy Room’ which is in the toilet.

(More at Raging Rainbows)

Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Friends, Humor, Politics, Time Sink, , ,

Hockey Sex

Print the t-shirts:

If you can tell the difference between hockey and sex, you’re doing one of them wrong. – The Boy

Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Hockey, Sex, UDoJ's Other Sites, ,

John McCain’s America

A peek above our garters to Greg Laden for this.

Take a look at John McCain’s America:

At a McCain event in Denver, advertised as “Open to the Public”, McCain’s Secret Service detail had Denver Police ticket, remove, and threaten to arrest 61 year old librarian Carol Kreck for attending the even holding a sign that said simply, “McCain = Bush”.

That’s right, in John McCain’s America, even little old ladies and libraries will be arrested for voicing dissent on city property.  Carol Kreck had it exactly correct.  John McCain does in fact equal George W. Bush, and that is exactly what this country needs less of, not more of.  I shudder to think what he’d do to Ms. Kreck’s library, should he attain the power for which he rabidly drools.

Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Censorship, Politics, Rants, Video, YouTube, , , , ,

Why I Deserve to be on Pharyngula’s Blogroll

Lilith, by John CollierDr. PZ had an open call for requests to be included on his blogroll.  I think a few words to justify my place there are probably in order, as it may not be readily apparent.

I write mostly about sex and science, sometimes the intersection thereof, the the Christian theocracy movement, the Intelligent Design Creationism Hoax, and I have some experience at blaspheming against the Catholic Church.  (CrackerGate was nuthin’!)

I was the blogger who awarded Slimy Sal the 2008 Asshole of the Year Award.  (On January 2nd, a new record!)

I’ve written poetry about Dr. PZ.

I am a BBWAD.  (Banned By William A. Dembski – from his blog at Uncommonly Dense – Getting banned there was my original raison d’être.)

And finally, I quite literally would not exist were it not for Dr. PZ.

And that, briefly, is why I deserve to be on Dr. PZ’s blogroll at Phayngula.

Filed under: About, Antiscience, Biology, Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Education, Fundies, Politics, Religion, Science, Science Links, Sex, Woo and Random Crazy People

Well, Crap

Now I have to think up something good to post.

I admit, I’ve been busy and coasting for a week or so, and haven’t really put up any of my best stuff.  Then Dr. PZ went and put up an open enrollment thread, and I got all excited and my brain shut down and I just threw up a comment without thinking.

I should have put up a good post first, to make a good impression, damn it.

It’s like stealing a first kiss from that hottie and suddenly realizing that you just had liver and onions for lunch.

Crap.

Filed under: About, Biology, Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Science, , ,

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The Lilith Quotient

Creative Commons License

The Lilith Quotient by JanieBelle McKnight is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

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