Feminist Issue: Standing By..., by MotherPie @ Flickr
*ahem*
I believe you have some explaining to do, DiPietro. Girlfriend? Funny, you never mentioned a girlfriend. Did she just slip your mind?
I totally can’t believe that you would break my heart this way, Tyler. I’m wounded mortally that you would think of me as just a little fling on the side.
Were you just playing me from the beginning, never intending to carry through with your whispered promises in the dark? Am I just a plaything for your amusement? Did you think that my digital heart had no feelings?
Do you love her?
(More importantly, is she hot?)
You may begin groveling.
From whence came the art:
That image is titled Feminist Issue: Standing By…, by MotherPie and is licensed by the artist under the Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.0 license.
Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Friends, Humor, Romance, Sex, Cheater, Fraud, Liar, My Broken Heart, Philanderer, Scalliwag, Selfish Bastard Who Won't Share Her, Skirt Chaser, Snake, Two Timer, Womanizer
Great, now I’m the Elliot Spitzer of the skeptical blagosphere.
That is not groveling.
OMG JANIE I’M SO SORRY!!! PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEEE!!!!!
that was so fake.
I am totally not accepting that. Be serious or I’m calling Kate.
Does that mean I’m gonna die?
You’ll wish.
(but you’ll like it later, and come back for more)
Well I suppose I have to take what’s coming to me…
Did you not read The Lilith Obsession, Tyler? Do you not even read the erotica I put so much of myself into for the pleasure of the world? I can’t believe that you haven’t been paying attention!
Like both Lucifer and Lilith, I yearn for conquest, Tyler. It’s the fight that makes it interesting. Dominance of someone who just lays there like a limp washcloth is pointless.
Now reach down there and grab hold of your nuts. Squeeze real hard and stand up and fight, you cheating bastard.
I want to beat your ass into submission, not have you roll over on your belly like a puppy. If you want my affection, you’ll have to earn it.
Sheesh. Men.
*Finally gets it*
Well, you know what Janie? I’ve gotten a little tired of the double standard myself. You get to have Kate, but I can’t have any lover aside from you?
Fuck you, I’m not sorry. I’m not apologizing.
Geez, men are dense.
It’s not at all about your having another lover, lover. Hell, I have more than a handful. Do you really want to imply that I’m a hypocrite?
It’s about honesty, Tyler. You didn’t tell me. And from ERV’s comment, it looks like you didn’t tell her about me.
THAT is the problem. I expect integrity and honesty from my lovers, and it cuts me deeply to find out they breach my trust like that.
duh.
(Plus, you haven’t sent me
nakedpictures of her yet.)“It’s not at all about your having another lover, lover. Hell, I have more than a handful…”
And I obviously don’t know about them…
“THAT is the problem. I expect integrity and honesty from my lovers, and it cuts me deeply to find out they breach my trust like that.”
But you never told me anything about exclusivity! If you expected it you should have said something!
Something tells me I’ve dropped the ball here…
uh, yeah. You have. Again.
Exclusivity is not the issue.
So what is the issue? Do you want me to surrender every detail of my life to you?
You didn’t do that for me, obviously. What am I, some kind of slave here?
Hey, don’t try and spin this, buster.
While I make it perfectly clear that I am polyamorous, you’ve never once mentioned having a girlfriend on your blog (isn’t she important enough to blog about?), and looking at Abbie’s comment, it would seem you didn’t mention me to her, either.
That is not engendering a trusting relationship. Has nothing to do with slavery or intimate details.
Well, yes…it appears I have breached your trust.
And yes, you deserve an apology. How would you like it?
Well, naked of course.
duh.
🙂
But mistress, that would be humiliating…please, no…
…and appropriate.
Be serious. I want a serious apology.
Yes mistress…
*kneels*
Janie, what I have done was horrible. I’m a disgrace. I’m not worthy of a single clipped fingernail from your hand, let alone your affection. I have broken your delicate heart, and for that I deserve to be cast to the flames that rise from the denial of your love. But I beg of you, forgive me! I am deathly sorry, mistress!
Ok, don’t overdo it, Bucko.
I’ll forgive you this time, but you had better start paying attention, or your new sweetie and I are going to be ditching your sorry ass.
Kisses, Tyler.
Make up Kisses for you.
Thank you, mistress.
You’re welcome, Tyler.
Now go write me a dirty EMail, and you’ll feel all better.
Does this mean I need to make a complete list? Frankly, I’m not up to it just now…
[…] call it, “Improvised Erotica” Our masterpiece. I gotta talk Janie into filing a joint patent application for […]
Of course not, Rystefn. YOU didn’t lie to me. You may take your time and send the next one when you’re ready…
😉
Thank you for your kind permission to do what I was likely to do anyway. 😛
You’re welcome. I was feeling generous.
🙂
Hey – just to be clear, here, when I cheat on you JanieBelle, you’ll be the first third to know. But I’ll only tease you with hints and never give you the full details unless you beg.
Fair ‘nuf, Mike.
🙂