UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

Sexy Summer Searches

BloggingI’m a little late with my (sort of) monthly homage to The King of All Poo. Sorry ’bout that.

The good news is that (assuming I’m on time next month) you’ll have less of a wait for August.

There’s some good stuff, some funny stuff, some not quite as funny to you as it is to me stuff.

So what were people who found this place via search engine looking for on those sweltering July nights?

Porn mostly.  When it gets hot, so do we.

Oh, and that picture over there?  That really is how I blog at night… and at noon too, for that matter.  I shed my clothes at every opportunity, so feel free to come here under-dressed.  We kinda like you that way.

Head below the fold for this month’s dose of Google goodness.

sex photo max zoo – um, Max, care to explain this?

naked breasts – Just the way I like ’em.

Emma Watson – Lots of these this month.

emma watson naked – ditto

harry potter fucking hermione – That’s part 8 – Harry Potter and the Submissive Witch

emma watson breasts – Two, to the best of my knowledge.

Genarlow Wilson video tape – That’s child porn, apparently.

Art Photography erotic – It’s the interwebs. It’s all over.

emma watson hot – Yes, we think so too.

EMMA WATSON – WE HEARD YOU THE FIRST TIME.

kissing in the rain – Very Sensual.

suzi perry thong – I’d rather have a Skepchick thong.

freaky old lady – I like her already.

married monday morning erotic stories – That’ll cure the blues.

NAKED BREASTS – DOES YOUR MOM KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GOOGLING?

literotica – Link Love.

monkeysphere – I’m in yours.

wake up it is monday morning – Nah, roll over and go back to bed.

coming between breasts – That little clasp rubs me wrong. I wear the clasps in the back.

funny sex comments by shakespeare – He’s still a virgin, but I’ll get back to you.

sexual itch – SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION.

afdave hawkins – idiot.

ceiling mirrors – Groovy.

erotic literature blog – Link Love.

“gave me a bath” massage – Lucky you, I LOVE that.

my freaky sex blog – Link please?

sex 9x – In a row, or is that the rating? Either way, call me.

advice sex with aunty – A regretfully lost tradition.

corporal sex – Link Love.

“sex literature” – The new euphemism for porn? Aren’t we past that yet?

head between breasts – Better than between buttocks.

erotic picnic stories – Invite me and you’ll be searching no longer.

pour some sugar on me stripper – Is that legal?

speciation in lab – Been done.

Carlton Pearson’s sexual preference – Does it matter?

molly naked – Link Love.

“cotton exchange”celtic shop – Love that place.

dont depilate you – Why not? I like the neatly groomed look.

how to get rid of fleas with fireworks – Darwin Award in the making.

pissed off bitch – And you’re looking for her, why?

“tom joaquin” – Link Love.

Who is the woman David Vitter – I’m assuming that was truncated, but there was apparently more than one.

“hot dogs” “green cheese” enlightenment – WTF? award winner.

i dream of janie – Awww, thanks. Kisses to you.

strippers naked breasts – That’s sorta the point, y’know?

Coitus – Fucking.

sand in a bottle – Hourglass.

lesbos kissing all night – Having a great time, glad you’re not here.

well written erotic story – And you landed here? Cool.

Senator David+Vitter date+of+birth time+ – Ever heard of the web?

Vitter’s sexual preference – Does it matter for any other reason than his hypocrisy?

true erotic stories dogs – They’d have their own blogs, but they have keyboard trouble without opposable thumbs. I asked.

green tf fark – WTF award runner up.

lovely breasts naked – Thanks. I know that was you, Kate. Kisses.

AMAX truck – ARIGHT here.

tara palmer tompkinson naked – Hottie.

norton naked chicks – I hope it’s better than their anti-virus software.

http://www.naked.breastsThey got a website of their own now?

safe for work – BWAHAHAHAHA! Boy did you get a surprise.

vagina – penis. Your turn.

badgirls hotbox – Save the crude language for the right moment.

“kitzmiller v dover” – I’m dying for the movie to come out.

kate o-face video – Got several of those. Sucks to be you.

“florida sun models” thong – Raisin Bran’s new marketing ploy?

straps bench gag – Sounds lovely.

“the lover not taken” – I’m smelling a theme for the next poetry contest here.

intelligent design – See Kitzmiller v. Dover.

adelehaze – Link Love.

Stiletto smilie – Link Love.

a big wet birthday kiss – Thanks, but you’re a few months behind.

moms cunt sucker – Dad, as far as I know.

serve my mistress – Good boy.

a fourth finger slip inside – Oh, do tell.

how to surprise my lover in bed – Ice water works.

underwear mud wrestling – Fun stuff.

ethic papers on duck lacrosse case – Better talk to PETA about that.

rev big dumb chimp – Link Love.

“coulter playboy” – I’m going to be ill.

imago dei graphics – Link Love.

pyrex dangerous – Yeah, it can wreck your Thanksgiving.

human chimp split – They had stuff to do.

yoyo eiffel tower how to do it – First, you buy a yoyo. Then you go to Paris.

udreamofjanie – Found it.

Josh Bozeman mother’s basement – Yep, I’m pretty sure.

Ted Homo – His correct address is Ted “I Art no homo” Haggard.

origin of shooting yourself in the foot – Check with Dick Cheney.

wordpress censor – Mark.

thunderstorm IN WINTER wivestale – No it’s not.

never a truer word shakespeare – i iz in ur panteez drwr

HICCOUGH, ST PETERSBURG – Well that’s a horrible thing to wish on a whole city.

angel with horns – You’ve come to the right place.

how to express forgivenes pictures – I find a verbal apology usually suffices.

skepdude – Link Love.

people scammed by sylvia browne – All of them.

davescot asshole – I’m quite sure you’d rather not see that.

janie – That’s me.

From whence came the art:

That image is one I snagged off Photocasket a while back, and they give no artist, but are specially designed for hot-linking, so I’m assuming it’s OK to use it. If it belongs to you, please contact me so I can give you a link and proper credit.

Filed under: Blogs In Our MonkeySphere, Friends, Humor, Search, Time Sink

17 Responses

  1. max says:

    “sex photo max zoo”

    Sex what?

    It was not me. I was at the orphanage. Being nice to orphans. Blind orphans.

  2. Hmmm, and my last Google search was for “M1A1 turret mods” . . . . Guess I better start adding more “naked” to my searches . . . .

  3. Infophile says:

    You know, you’re really tempting me to do some random searches I know will end up here just to see your reaction.

  4. JanieBelle says:

    My dear Max,

    If you’re so innocent, how come I had to dig your comment out of the spam filter? Not even the moderation queue, but the spam filter?

    Does Akismet know something you’re not sharing?

    Good thing I’m sleepless at midnight and bored.

    FFE,

    I do tend to get the sexually oriented searches here. Not complainin’, just sayin’.

    A week or two ago, I posted about a comment Emma Watson made, and came up with what I thought was a catchy title:

    “Emma Watson Naked – Oh Hermione!”

    Ummm.. yeah. You should see the stuff coming in for next month’s list already.

    Infophile,

    That’s cheating, though I suspect that Matt gets the occasional prank from a regular, too. On the other hand, the interwebs is a strange place…

    Kisses to you all.

  5. max says:

    “My dear Max,

    If you’re so innocent, how come I had to dig your comment out of the spam filter? Not even the moderation queue, but the spam filter?

    Does Akismet know something you’re not sharing?”

    My Dear JanieBelle,

    Clearly this is a conspiracy plot by the French.

    Kisses.

    m

  6. Martyne says:

    I thought I had an Emma Watson fixation, but you seem to be worse.

  7. JanieBelle says:

    Max,

    Gotta watch them French people. They’re always trying to kiss… um… I guess I’m French, then?

    Martyne,

    Don’t blame me, I’m just delivering the search results. It’s the googlers with the fixation!

    (French?) Kisses to you both.

  8. max says:

    Oh you are pulling the tongue stuff again. What sass.

  9. JanieBelle says:

    Hey, you brought the French into this Max.

    I’m innocent.

    0:-)

  10. Martyne says:

    Lay off the French you two. If it wasn’t for them you would probably still be taking orders from us Brits, so you should be able to see an upside to them. And, but for them, the world would never have experienced the beauty of the Statue of Liberty. Probably your most iconic structure (although I personally hanker after the Golden Gate Bridge more). OK, the French reek of garlic and speak funny, but nobody’s perfect!

  11. max says:

    Sigh. The French were always the most fun to blame and then that chowderhead politicized it and ruined it for everyone.

  12. JanieBelle says:

    Geez, who we gonna blame for stuff now?

  13. max says:

    Let’s blame the Brits.

    :::whistling:::

  14. JanieBelle says:

    No, we can’t do that. Then they won’t buy our UK line of pads, silly.

    We could blame the Libyans. Nobody likes playing with them anyway, after that whole Tripoli Six incident.

  15. Martyne says:

    “Chowderhead”, I like that one max. Do I have permission to use it in future? And lay of the Brits. How about blaming the Belgians. That’s what we do. We could put back international relations by centuries if we put enough thought into this one.

  16. max says:

    Oh I did not coin chowderhead and I am sure I am not the first person to use it for that man use at will Martyne.

    I have to make fun of Brits a little I am an Adams it it genetic. We could do like South Park and pick on Canadians but Canadians are pretty burly and a lot of them ae running amock online they could take us.

  17. Martyne says:

    Check out “Canadian Idiot” by Wierd Al Yancovic if you haven’t already done so max. I’m surprised your countries talk to each other at all after that one. But like most of his work, it’s a real hoot.

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Sex in the Public Square

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Awards and Nominations


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  • Best You People Are Truly Geeks Post

Thinking Blogger Award

Excellent Blog Award

Rockin' Girl Blogger Award

Order of the Science Scouts

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The Lilith Quotient

Creative Commons License

The Lilith Quotient by JanieBelle McKnight is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

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