Just before dawn, it’s a little over sixty degrees Fahrenheit. Not too bad for summertime in Colorado. Perfect jogging weather. You know it’s going to hit ninety today though, so you’d better get started. You’ve decided to loose a little bit of that midsection you’ve acquired over the years of your priestly duties.
Being a Catholic priest has few physical demands, and spending every day ministering to the needs of your parish, while important and necessary, is also sedentary. Time to get started here at the local high school track.
The cool mountain air is brisk on your face. It’s just a little uncomfortable on your hands, as well. Fortunately, you’re not sweating too much. That wouldn’t be pleasant.
You’re just finishing your second lap when the red and blue flashing lights appear, and tires squeal through the parking lot. Deputy Fife and his S.W.A.T. team of armed ninjas have you surrounded.
“Is there a problem officers?”
“Don’t you move you filthy pervert!”
Next thing y’know, you’re a registered sex offender.
On the AP wire at Lycos:
The Rev. Robert Whipkey told officers he had been running naked at a high school track and didn’t think anyone would be around at that time of day, a police report said.
He told officers he sweats profusely if he wears clothing while jogging. “I know what I did was wrong,” he said in the report.
From The Denver Post:
Frederick police busted the Rev. Robert Whipkey in June after an off-duty officer spotted him walking down the street naked at 4:30 in the morning. Whipkey told police he had been jogging at the Frederick High School track.
“I’m a heavy man, and wearing clothing while running makes me sweat profusely,” Whipkey said, according to a police report. “I know what I did was wrong.”
Whipkey was charged with a misdemeanor count of indecent exposure and could, if convicted, have to register as a sex offender. His attorney, Doug Tisdale, declined to comment.
Jesus H. Christ. Are you kidding me?
Is our society really that whacked out over sex and nudity that we’re going to register a Catholic Priest as a sex offender because he was out jogging in the buff?
The Catholic Church has some serious issues right now concerning the clergy and sexual predation, but this is not one of them.
Also from the article in the Post:
“I was thinking, ‘Man, my wife is getting up at about that time,”‘ said resident Jody Lucas. “It’s a little weird, especially for a Catholic priest.”
Lucas’ wife, Yolanda, said she often attends church at St. Theresa and said Whipkey seems like a nice person.
“I was kind of shocked,” she said.
But, she said priests are human. She plans to keep going to the church.
“I don’t go because of the father,” she said. “I go because of my religion. I’m not going to change my religion because the father made a mistake.”
Jerry Wright, who lives near the track, said based on Whipkey’s statements, he doesn’t think the priest should have to register as a sex offender if convicted.
“But I don’t even know why he would think about doing something like that,” Wright said.
What difference does it make, Mr. Wright? He wanted to drop a few pounds, and he wanted to do it in the raw. Was he bothering anyone? Would Mrs. Lucas have had a heart attack and died because she saw a naked overweight priest trying to do something good for his body?
Leave the guy alone, as far as we know he was doing exactly what he said he was doing. He was trying to lose a little weight.
From whence came the art:
Crossposted at SitPS