UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

Kissing Michelle Vitt

Michelle Vitt, Local Non-KisserMichelle Vitt looks happy enough. She’s pretty in the picture of her in today’s Jacksonville Daily News. Sitting in the Starbuck’s there on Western Blvd., in her Abercrombie T-shirt, pretty smile, lovely cheeks, cell phone and keys on the table next to her frozen coffee drink, you might think she’s just your average American college age girl. But Hope Hodge of the Daily News Staff tells us there’s something very atypical about Michelle that you can’t see in that photograph, or even in person.

Michelle has never been kissed. By that, I do not simply mean that Michelle is a virgin. I am not telling you she’s never been a gropee or been the groper. Ladies and gentlemen, Dreamers, casual readers of this little blog, I am telling you that lovely Michelle here has never, not once, been kissed. (I would assume that statement’s meaning excludes familial kissing, of course.)

As incredible as that is to believe, the reason behind it is unfortunately glaringly mundane and predictable.

Vitt said her decision was made when she was little – one that she has stood by, even when it has been difficult.

“You hear everybody say, well, I wish I had waited,” she said. “Everybody has their regrets. I don’t have a regret about doing this.”

Vitt has lived near Jacksonville all her life, and after home schooling through her high school years, attended the Potter’s School for a theology degree and then took several semesters at Coastal Carolina Community College with a focus on elementary education.

Though her plans and ambitions have changed over the years, Vitt said, one hope for the future has always been the same.

“One thing I’ve always wanted to be is a wife and mother,” she said.

She grew up with a strong Christian background, she said, and was encouraged to have high standards by her parents. But the decision to save kissing for marriage is one she made on her own.

And there you have it. She made the decision when she was little to be unsullied until her wedding day. More properly stated, her parents so brainwashed her from the time she was not capable of making an informed decision, and then insulated her from society to maintain that indoctrination so severely, that this girl has reached college age having never been kissed by a boy (or a girl, presumably) and is happy about that.

I’d like to correct something Michelle said in the first statement quoted above. Michelle said:

“You hear everybody say, well, I wish I had waited,” she said. “Everybody has their regrets. I don’t have a regret about doing this.”

No. No, Michelle, not everybody says that. In fact, I’ve never heard anybody say that. What I have heard people say is “I sure wish I had…” Your parents tell you that everybody says that, the people in your isolated little fundy world might say that in church, but the truth of the matter is that people tend to regret the things they didn’t do much more than they regret the things they did do. It is only the warped programming of your parents’ religion that would cause you to believe kissing before your marriage is regrettable.

In my own experience I can personally tell you there was a particularly beautiful young English teacher who taught me in high school, about whom I shall always carry a large dose of regret. She was not only lovely to look at, but articulate, compassionate, engaging, intelligent, and enticing. Had it not been for the insane social stigma attached to sexuality in America today, I believe I could have, I didn’t, I regret. I believe that one day in the (hopefully) distant future, I shall be lying on my death bed, and thinking of Miss Santos (later Mrs. Williams), regretting that I never once took the opportunity, as she leaned over my shoulder to inspect my work, to simply turn my head and plant one right on those alluring lips. Seriously, what could the administration have done to me for that? Suspend me? Arrest me? It would have been a small price to pay for such a memory, I’m quite sure. As long as she acted “properly” reproachful afterwards, there’d have been no consequences for her, and she too would take that memory with her through life, I guarantee it. I’m also more than a little convinced it would have been a rather pleasant memory for her.

These, dear Michelle are the things we regret in life. We regret the things we didn’t do. We regret not kissing our English teachers. I hope you come to that realization sooner rather than later, before the regrets pile up so high they eat you alive when you finally notice them.

The comments below the Daily News article get pretty ugly sometimes, but some of the more pointed utterances contain not-so-subtle points that as usual are lost on the Fundy Cheerleading Squad. I find the Jesus/Muhammad Yahweh/Allah comparisons rather apt, and the unsurprising obliviousness to the validity of the analogy and its implications by the family’s admirers tragically predictable.

I am so sorry for you, Michelle. Nobody should be so abused by their parents.

(Crossposted at SitPS)

Filed under: Biology, Fundies, Photos, Rants, Religion, Romance, Science, Sex

27 Responses

  1. Kissing Michelle Vitt

    Michelle Vitt looks happy enough. She’s pretty in the picture of her in today’s Jacksonville Daily News. Sitting in the Starbuck’s there on Western Blvd., in her Abercrombie T-shirt, pretty smile, lovely cheeks, cell phone and keys on the tab

  2. Berlzebub says:

    Before clicking on the “Reade more”, or even looking at the labels, I could have told you why she hadn’t been kissed.

    This is anecdotal, but I can remember girls not kissing because they feared it would make them pregnant. This is what sheltering does to these kids.

    I’m with you on the regrets part. My biggest regrets are things I didn’t do, not with things I did. If I’d known then what I know now, I would have done more, secure in the knowledge that I was a minor, and would have had an easier time getting away with it.

    Of course, she also seems to be associating kissing with sex. I’ve heard it called “An upper persuasion for a lower invasion”, and oftentimes it is, during those hormonal years. However, I did share a few non-chaste kisses with the opposite sex, but remained a “true” virgin until I was 21.

  3. JanieBelle says:

    🙂

    “An upper persuasion for a lower invasion”

    I’d not heard it called that before. While it may be accurate, I just don’t characterize that in a negative way.

    😉

    Here’s a little upper persuasion for you Berlzebub.

    :X

  4. Amanda says:

    One of my closest friends had her first kiss on her wedding day, and she’s not sorry she waited. Me? I can’t imagine not kissing…it’s so much fun! But can you really miss what you’ve never had?

  5. here’s a quote “kissing is at the root of all evil. Kissing leads to babies, famine, war, and insanity…Dick cheney

    I’m sure the young lady in the picture has read his every book and knows what a lying scoundrel I am.

  6. JanieBelle says:

    Hi Amanda!

    I can’t imagine not kissing…it’s so much fun! But can you really miss what you’ve never had?

    Which is rather the point, don’t you think? At her age, she should be missing it (or making up for lost time!).

    There’s really no excuse for messin’ a kid up like that.

    CJ,

    I’m sure the young lady in the picture has read his every book and knows what a lying scoundrel I am.

    I don’t need to read Dick, to know you’re a scoundrel. “I like scoundrels,” to take a bit of liberty.

    Kisses to you both.

  7. This week on Morons R Us, Miss R shall attempt to post a response correctly.
    It could happen…

    Hey gorgeous,
    i read this piece much earlier in the day and was so incensed that a reply wouldn’t even come.
    I can only compact it into three points:

    1. Organized Religion makes me berserk
    2. Fundies make me phase over from suicidal to homicidal (a healthy thing says my analyst)
    3. WTF is a virgin? IS that the correct euphemism for unicorn?

  8. JanieBelle says:

    I was kinda thinkin’ you meant to post that here.

    Ah well, we all have days like that Rachael.

    I think both virgins and unicorns are properly referred to as “hornycorns”…

    At least in our house, anyway.

    Kisses

  9. Infophile says:

    These, dear Michelle are the things we regret in life. We regret the things we didn’t do. We regret not kissing our English teachers. I hope you come to that realization sooner rather than later, before the regrets pile up so high they eat you alive when you finally notice them.

    As someone who was actually in a situation somewhat like this, I have to say that yes, you may indeed come to regret it. The specifics are a bit different, so let me give you a brief run-down of what happened:

    The year I entered high school, I joined up with the debate team. Our particular form of debate didn’t have a staff member who was capable of teaching it, so it was taught by a senior student. I eventually became quite enamored with her, but didn’t act on it throughout my first year.

    The next year, although she’d graduated, the school still needed her to coach us, so they brought her back as part-time staff. I started talking to her more throughout this year, and eventually I decided to act on my feelings. Unfortunately, at the time I had zero experience with romance, and combining this with my pseudoautism (or whatever it is that keeps me from understanding humans socially) led to completely fucking it up.

    Since she was also technically a staff member at this time, this ended up eventually getting me into trouble. I was unofficially kicked off of the debate team and told to steer clear of her.

    For a long time, I did indeed quite regret what I’d done. This incident basically crushed me, and directly led to me not getting a date throughout all of highschool. (The dearth of dates since highschool I blame on other factors.) In a way, I still do regret what happened, though with distance I have at least managed to take a message from it of exactly what I shouldn’t do in a relationship.

    Sorry for tangent there. Back on the subject, I have to say that I personally find something really annoying about people who choose to hold themselves back like this. I’ve gone through many years of frustration from not being able to get any romantic satisfaction, and they’re just choosing against it. It’s like they’re mocking me, almost.

  10. JanieBelle says:

    Hi Infophile!

    I’ve often sat dumbfounded reading your blog. Not just by the physics (although that stretches my cranial capacity as well), but by the thought that there aren’t women beating down your door to get a piece of you. I just don’t frakking get that.

    I think for some reason our society has attached negative connotations to words like “geek” and “smart”. I don’t get that either. Think about it. Those are/should be desirable traits in people.

    Without hopping back up on my soapbox here, it really seems that our society has embraced the ideals of ignorance and darkness, and I see no other cause for this than our abandonment of the enlightenment for blind faith.

    There are some very small signs of hope that this course may be reversing, but it’s far too soon to tell whether we will return to a society that values intellect and free thought.

    It’s OK that you f’d up that moment. Truly, it is. We all do it. It’s part of the learning curve. Unfortunately we don’t give classes on relationships to budding teenagers, so we have to jump in and figure it out for ourselves.

    If I may be so personal, it seems to me that the issue for your situation is not that you blew it that time, but rather that you stopped there, and didn’t go on to blow it dozens more times until you got it right.

    It’s the only way we have to learn how to “do” relationships.

    Now quit reading this blog for the day, and go out and chat up some random hottie. Get slapped, get rejected, get the finger. Then do it again. And then do it again and again and again until you suddenly wake up naked next to a great person, and find yourself satisfied.

    A quick statistical analysis for you:

    There are currently upwards of 4.6 BILLION people on this little rock of ours.

    Around half of them are women you’ve never slept with.

    The average American male lives to be somewhere in his seventies.

    You’ve got a lot of catching up to do, in a very short amount of time.

    Kisses

  11. Infophile says:

    I’ve often sat dumbfounded reading your blog. Not just by the physics (although that stretches my cranial capacity as well), but by the thought that there aren’t women beating down your door to get a piece of you. I just don’t frakking get that.

    The big reason for this is that I’m a lot better at expressing myself over the internet. In person (and on the phone), I’m a ton less confident. Something in my psyche leads me to an extreme lack of confidence, even in mundane activities (I once almost had a panic attack when ordering lunch). Mostly this involves starting up a conversation with someone, and phoning people who I don’t already know well can be very difficult.

    Now, take this and add it to the stress inherent in asking someone out. Factor in that I’m not physically attractive (just take my word on this; one internet friend wouldn’t and I was forced to explain to her exactly why). Also factor in that society expects the male to always make the first move. And now add in clinical depression which leads me to spend too much time moping after every failure. Oh, and the fact that my program at university is about 90% male, and almost all the girls are taken. You can see where this is going; there are a lot of factors at work here.

    One thing I’ve tried to do to help out is to meet more girls over the internet, where I’m a lot more confident. There’s actually been some limited success in this, but some of the obvious difficulties (long-distance primarily) have gotten in the way. I actually went on my first “date” with a girl I met over the internet, though it didn’t go over so well.

    Without hopping back up on my soapbox here, it really seems that our society has embraced the ideals of ignorance and darkness, and I see no other cause for this than our abandonment of the enlightenment for blind faith.

    There are some very small signs of hope that this course may be reversing, but it’s far too soon to tell whether we will return to a society that values intellect and free thought.

    This might also be a big part of the problem. What seems to happen with me is that people looked at me more like a reference book than a person. I remember one time, in physics class, the class was split up into a few large groups to solve a huge problem. The plan for our group was, in essence: Everybody else worked on it together, and then I checked their work and told them if they were right. Despite the respect everyone had for me, I actually got extremely few requests to help people out, though I was always willing. I suspect that it felt to them almost like cheating, since I always knew exactly what to do (much like looking in the back of the book).

    If I may be so personal, it seems to me that the issue for your situation is not that you blew it that time, but rather that you stopped there, and didn’t go on to blow it dozens more times until you got it right.

    Oh, I never said I stopped trying. I might not have tried as often as the typical teenager, but I did try. The reason this incident hurt my chances is that it ruined my confidence. Other failures didn’t help with my confidence, either. It’s only in the last couple of years that I’ve managed to build it back up and stabilize myself. The problem I’ve faced within this timeframe is mostly just bad luck – I haven’t met anyone who I’m at all interested in and is available.

    Now quit reading this blog for the day, and go out and chat up some random hottie. Get slapped, get rejected, get the finger. Then do it again. And then do it again and again and again until you suddenly wake up naked next to a great person, and find yourself satisfied.

    Heh, I wish I could split right now, but I’m trapped at work. I’ve got this habit of doing twice the expected work in half the allotted time, leading me to have immense amounts of time on my hands. I spend most of it reading around blogs, some posting myself, and the rest just randomly learning stuff (there’s a reason I took the name “Infophile”). And today isn’t nearly over, yet, so it’s back to the info binge.

  12. To better the odds you cited earlier JanieBelle, there are actually upwards of SIX billion people on our little rock, in fact closer to seven than to six!

    As you say, “just sayin'”

  13. JanieBelle says:

    Crap. Good call, Elizabeth.

    I was working on a piece on evolution and thinking of 4.6 billion years ago for the formation of the solar system.

    Too many irons, too many fires.

    Just the way I like it!

    Kisses

  14. JanieBelle says:

    Infophile!

    I totally missed that you had commented again, what with the site going all boogery a while ago.

    I am so very sorry for that.

    I think we need to give you an after-work homework assignment involving kissing…

    Kisses

  15. Infophile says:

    Heh, no problem. Also, I’d like to apologize there. Going off on self-involved whines is one habit I’m still working on pruning.

    Now, about that kissing assignment…

  16. JanieBelle says:

    No apology necessary, Infophile. It didn’t at all sound whiny to me, more like a topical illustration.

    As for your kissing assignment, I’m afraid I’m still working out the details, but so far it involves nudity, a sandwich board, and a big feathery three musketeers hat. Oh, and kissing, of course.

    😉

    I’ll work on it while I’m at the hospital today.

    Kisses.

  17. Martyne says:

    I’d like to add a whole new angle to the regrets debate. I have no regets about what I did but I do have regrets about the consequences. To explain, I was a teacher at a girls school. I had a circle of senior girls with whom I socialised. A bit like Miss Jean Brodie. Unlike her, I was not into politics, but sex. The girls and I had a very liberal view of each others bodies and we expressed it frequently. When I say girls I mean fully grown women in everything but name. When they found out what was going on the school board sacked me. My employment prospects went down and my sherry bills went up. I shut this side of me away for years but as it has recently resurfaced I feel I am now able to share it with people.

  18. JanieBelle says:

    Hi Martyne,

    I’m glad you’ve gotten to the point where you can share.

    If I may (and don’t feel at all like you have to answer), were the consequences worth the price of admission?

    I’m interested in the point of view of someone with a bit more life experience than I have.

    Kisses

  19. JanieBelle says:

    To expound just a bit further, it has recently been suggested that perhaps my point of view on regrets is skewed by the fact that I haven’t lived long enough to have any real regrets, or something close to that.

    It’s a thought worth considering.

  20. Martyne says:

    Hi JanieBelle
    There is no short answer to that one. The term Magnum Opus comes to mind. So no surprise there then. It wasn’t really a case of admitting. I was grassed up by a nasty bitch. Again like Miss JB. Is this an Edinburgh thing? I doubt it. I’m sure this happens the whole world over. Sorry, Miss Digression took over for a bit. There is an expression which goes “if you’r not prepared to do the time, don’t commit the crime”. What I did was perfectly legal, given the age of the girls involved, but even though I was a lot younger at the time I knew that my actions could lead to repercussions which I was willing to accept. In retrospect I may have taken a different view if I had known how hard they were to be. Hindsight is a wonderful thing should you be blessed with it. In the end though, it all boils down to the same thing. Gambling. Risk versus Reward. I have to thank Noel Edmonds and the TV show “Deal or no Deal” for that last piece of wisdom. Partly because I believe credit should be given where it is due, but mainly because I am allergic to being sued. It brings me out in a nasty rash.

  21. longevity and regrets are as related as ice cream and horse crap.

  22. Martyne says:

    Whilst I was writing my last comment you snuck another one in there without my noticing it. I suppose there are some regrets which are age related. I would love to do breakdancing but I am a few decades too old to do that one. I can live with that. We all have our own “moral code”. Some, like myself, built their own. Others bought theirs ready-made from their local “religious retailer”. The effect is the same though. If I break my code I feel regret. I feel I have let myself down.

  23. Martyne says:

    criminyjicket, you have hit the head on the nail.

  24. Berlzebub says:

    To expound just a bit further, it has recently been suggested that perhaps my point of view on regrets is skewed by the fact that I haven’t lived long enough to have any real regrets, or something close to that.

    It could also be suggested that whoever “suggested” this has no clue what they are talking about. In the spirit of skeptical blogging, I would call this argumentum ad longevitum. If you’re old enough to realize that you have choices, you’re old enough to have regrets.

    Anyway, you’re little anecdote in the post proves you’re old enough to have regrets. Who’s to say that your regret of not sharing a kiss is any less than my not buying stock in Microsoft?

    An upper persuasion to ya, Janiebelle

  25. JanieBelle says:

    After a weekend of contemplation on the subject, I’m inclined to agree with you all.

    Kisses to you all.

  26. Martyne says:

    Totally agree with you Berlzebub, The older you get the more scope you have for regret for things you have or haven’t done. Thats simply statistics. But as you say, when you are old enough to make choices, you are old enough to have regrets. Absolutely with you on the Mirosoft stock thing. We messed up there.

  27. […] said what she’s been through fits any reasonable definition of abuse. I said it. I said it here, and I said it at Sex in the Public Square, where I crossposted Kissing Michelle […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Sex in the Public Square

  • Sex in the Public Square
  • Sex In The Public Square.org

always.

  • always.

A Word About Me

  • I am entirely fictional, and without sexual preference.
  • Don't like it? Don't come back.

EMail

  • janiebellemcknight AT gmail DOT com

The Erotic Dreams of JanieBelle and Lovers

Kate Once Said

  • "Did you know that you don't close your eyes all the way when you sleep?

    It's making me excited again."

Awards and Nominations


WhoreChurch Seal of Approval

Celluloid Blonde Award

  • Best You People Are Truly Geeks Post

Thinking Blogger Award

Excellent Blog Award

Rockin' Girl Blogger Award

Order of the Science Scouts

Mature Content is Contained on this Blog

Help us support Sex Work Awareness

Past Poetry Contest Winners

Kate Once Said:

  • "Did you know that you don't close your eyes all the way when you sleep?

    It's making me excited again."

Awards and Nominations


WhoreChurch Seal of Approval

Celluloid Blonde Award

  • Best You People Are Truly Geeks Post

Thinking Blogger Award

Excellent Blog Award

Rockin' Girl Blogger Award

Order of the Science Scouts

Creative Commons License

All original material on this blog excepting The Lilith Quotient is covered under the Creative Commons Attribution- NonCommercial- Share Alike 3.0 License.

Attribution should be made to JanieBelle McKnight, and contain a link to this blog.

The Lilith Quotient

Creative Commons License

The Lilith Quotient by JanieBelle McKnight is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution- Noncommercial- No Derivative Works 3.0 License.

Attribution should be made to JanieBelle McKnight, and contain a link to this blog.

z

Site Meter

Peeking Dreamers

  • 397,878 Page Views Since Moving To WordPress
%d bloggers like this: