UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

In Which Janie Applies The Scientific Method

A Nasty Little Bugger…(or actually fails to) and is annoyed.

OK, y’all know how sick I had been for nearly a week there.

Observation: I was suddenly puking my guts up.

Observation: Several local sources report a stomach virus going around.

Hypothesis: I had a stomach virus.

Now in theory, I could have gone to a lab, drawn some blood, looked at my blood under a microscope and done whatever tests biologists do to isolate and identify the hypothesized viral agent.

I didn’t. The hypothesis was elegant, explained the observations, and I deemed further investigation unnecessary. Plus, I didn’t want to stray to far from my porcelain goddess.

But if I had, I would have seen whatever bug was sickening me and confirmed my hypothesis, or not seen a stomach virus and went back to square one with some more observations.

I should have.

Had I followed this course, I would not have been so sick for so long.

Yesterday morning on NPR I heard a report that caught my attention, and caused me to re-evaluate my hypothesis.

Observation: Despite extended close contact, Kate somehow managed to not show any symptoms of having caught the infectious agent I hypothesized.

This observation had been nagging at me a bit, though I foolishly dismissed it and filed it under “who cares, I have to puke now”.

Observation: During the course of my illness, I would feel a bit better, eat a little, then later begin to feel worse and begin barfing again.

Though I noted this, I completely ignored the implications of it, mostly because I’m a literature student and not really in the habit of doing biological experiments on myself.

So every time I had begun to feel well enough to eat, my Dear Love Kate would bring me some chicken noodle soup and a peanut butter sandwich. She is so sweet that way.

Observation: All over the country reports have been coming in of peanut butter tainted with the Salmonella bacterium.

Observation: The tainted lot is Peter Pan and Great Value brands of peanut butter with lot numbers beginning with 2111.

Observation: The peanut butter Kate had been bringing me was a lot number beginning with 2111 of the Great Value (Wal-Mart generic) brand.

Observation: Kate had not been eating the peanut butter.

Hypothesis: I was not infected with a stomach virus at all, but was rather suffering from symptoms of having been exposed to Salmonella.

Conclusion: I’m so kicking Wal-Mart’s ass.

Filed under: About, Biology, Education, Science

6 Responses

  1. WhoreChurch says:

    What’s even worse is the I saw the recall on CNN days ago, figured “what are the chances we have that particular lot number?” and didn’t bother to check.

    Turns out we had the Peter Pan 2111. My redhead saw the report last night and checked.

    Fortunately neither of us got sick.

  2. WhoreChurch says:

    Oh, and I had the stomach virus for a year last week. It isn’t fun either.

  3. JanieBelle says:

    I’m glad you guys didn’t get sick.

    It really sucked.

  4. WhoreChurch says:

    Don’t you mean “it really blows” as in chunks?

    It gives a whole new meaning to Chunky Peanut butter.

  5. JanieBelle says:

    *Doing my best Cartman voice*

    “I didn’t think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.”

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Order of the Science Scouts

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