…(or actually fails to) and is annoyed.
OK, y’all know how sick I had been for nearly a week there.
Observation: I was suddenly puking my guts up.
Observation: Several local sources report a stomach virus going around.
Hypothesis: I had a stomach virus.
Now in theory, I could have gone to a lab, drawn some blood, looked at my blood under a microscope and done whatever tests biologists do to isolate and identify the hypothesized viral agent.
I didn’t. The hypothesis was elegant, explained the observations, and I deemed further investigation unnecessary. Plus, I didn’t want to stray to far from my porcelain goddess.
But if I had, I would have seen whatever bug was sickening me and confirmed my hypothesis, or not seen a stomach virus and went back to square one with some more observations.
I should have.
Had I followed this course, I would not have been so sick for so long.
Yesterday morning on NPR I heard a report that caught my attention, and caused me to re-evaluate my hypothesis.
Observation: Despite extended close contact, Kate somehow managed to not show any symptoms of having caught the infectious agent I hypothesized.
This observation had been nagging at me a bit, though I foolishly dismissed it and filed it under “who cares, I have to puke now”.
Observation: During the course of my illness, I would feel a bit better, eat a little, then later begin to feel worse and begin barfing again.
Though I noted this, I completely ignored the implications of it, mostly because I’m a literature student and not really in the habit of doing biological experiments on myself.
So every time I had begun to feel well enough to eat, my Dear Love Kate would bring me some chicken noodle soup and a peanut butter sandwich. She is so sweet that way.
Observation: All over the country reports have been coming in of peanut butter tainted with the Salmonella bacterium.
Observation: The tainted lot is Peter Pan and Great Value brands of peanut butter with lot numbers beginning with 2111.
Observation: The peanut butter Kate had been bringing me was a lot number beginning with 2111 of the Great Value (Wal-Mart generic) brand.
Observation: Kate had not been eating the peanut butter.
Hypothesis: I was not infected with a stomach virus at all, but was rather suffering from symptoms of having been exposed to Salmonella.
Conclusion: I’m so kicking Wal-Mart’s ass.