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Hearts And Flowers

My niece KaylaFace is so smart. She’s 14 15 and in high school. She’s already a member of the FBLA, club Hernandez, has a straight A average, and scored a 155 a bazillion or something on one of her finals at the end of this past semester… out of 100. Final average for that class grading period? 108.  (EDIT:  Whatever, she’s still a frickin’ genius.)

Now she’s on the school newspaper.

With her permission, here is a sneak peak of her very first article, on the draft of which the advisor wrote that she writes “better than all the old columnists”.

I am so proud of her.

This is worth getting up at 7 to tell you about.

Without further ado, Hearts and Flowers, by KaylaFace:

Hearts and flowers, candies and kisses: its all part of the big love fest known as Valentine’s Day. Some people find it to be a great time for couples to spend time together and show affection in public. However, others find February 14th to be an unnecessary holiday. It’s just another day for couples to demonstrate their love in a manner that some find a bit disgusting. Why do they need an excuse to be cute and cuddly?

Turns out Forest Gump’s momma was right about boxes of chocolate when she said, “You never know what you’re going to get.” You get about two or three good pieces, and the others are about as gross as watching couples play tongue hockey. When it comes to the chocolate boxes, you can’t even tell which ones are the good ones anyway, so you have to guess and end up eating the bad ones just to get to the good ones. Add in all the other candy you devour on Valentine’s Day and it only equals a couple of days in the gym trying to work it all back off. Or even worse, you end up listening to your significant other while she complains for weeks afterwards about how her hips are huge because of all the goodies she ate.

Another bad thing about Valentine’s Day is the flowers and gifts. Why do people have to have an excuse to give gifts to their significant other? If you give a gift on the same day as every other love-struck person on earth, it’s just not very special. Besides, Valentine’s Day can be expensive. A simple box of chocolates just doesn’t seem to be as satisfying unless it’s accompanied by something else. There has to be stuffed animals, flowers, tons more candy, and if you’ve been together awhile, the dreaded pocket-emptier—jewelry. The animals are going to get ripped and dirty, the flowers will die in a week, the candy will either be eaten or thrown away, and the jewelry only pulled out for an extra special occasion. Doesn’t this seem a little pointless?

And that’s only looking at the couples. There are the single people who don’t even have valentines. What do they get to do? Sit around all day and mope? Valentine’s Day is one of those days when you either get to be smothered in presents and candy, or you get to wallow in your own self pity. No one wants to spend “Singles Awareness Day” by themselves; they often go around chasing someone to be their valentine, only to be crushed into pieces. Then what? They end up right back on their couch on February 14th doing nothing but feeling sorry for themselves.

Some people find Valentine’s Day a sweet and loving holiday, with candy, hearts, roses, and kisses. Everyone else finds it to be about as useless as MySpace with its servers down.

 

Filed under: About, Education, Family, Friends, Humor, Literature, Rants

7 Responses

  1. max says:

    Good Lord. It is official now. We have destroyed the chidlren.

  2. max says:

    Damn. Typo. Um, children.

  3. JanieBelle says:

    I think I’m an influence on her, but for good or ill, I’m not sure.

    🙂

  4. max says:

    Valentine’s Day is a story about being a warrior. It has been subverted. Turned into hearts and jewely and unfortunate credit card bills. But, what it is about? A man told the government “fuck you” and shoved for independence — and he died for it.

    It is the fucking Boston Tea Party of romance.

  5. JanieBelle says:

    It is the fucking Boston Tea Party of romance.

    😆

    I love that.

    But the good thing is that it’s my birthday. I get double the goodies.

    🙂

  6. AnotherSadSong says:

    Meanie. I am 15. not 14. geez.

    My final grade for that class was a 98. I got a 95 on the exam and earned myself a college credit as a sophomore and my last six weeks grade was a 108. =] Just a few corrections before you start making me out to be an extreme genius when I’m just a genius…for now. And you keep on believing you’re an influence. Just remember, it’s pretty much my love English and the constant drive of the honors classes that have really made me the superb genius I am…I mean, just genius…nothing superb =]

    And Max, I totally agree. I hate Valentine’s Day. It’s so disgusting and about as expensive as Christmas. C’mon now, no holiday should even be in the same RANGE as Christmas. But Valentine’s Day is right up there. Yuck. Not to mention the whole couples kissing and stuff. It’s extremely gross. Especially when you have to see them everyday of your life. Even worse when they’re your friends. Yeah, high school tends to blow.

  7. JanieBelle says:

    Sorry. You’re still a frickin’ geniac.

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