From this morning’s paper, Teddy “I Art no homo” Haggard is still good for a chuckle…
Nov 8, 9:36 PM EST
Haggard Begins Spiritual ‘Restoration’
By DAN ELLIOTT
Associated Press Writer
DENVER (AP) — There will be prayer, and perhaps the laying on of hands. There will be counseling and a confession. And there will be advice, confrontation and rebuke from “godly men” appointed to oversee the spiritual “restoration” of the Rev. Ted Haggard.
After tumbling from the pinnacle of the American evangelical movement amid allegations he snorted meth and cavorted with a male prostitute, Haggard has agreed to a rehabilitation process that could last three to five years.
“I see success approximately 50 percent of the time,” said H.B. London, vice president for church and clergy at Focus on the Family, the conservative Christian ministry in Colorado Springs. “Guys just wear out and they can no longer subject themselves to the process.”
Those who fail “end up selling cars or shoes or something, and being miserable and angry the rest of their lives,” London said.
Oh yeah. If you refuse to go straight (I kill me), you’ll be miserable and turn into a dirty car salesman!
Sounds to me like this “restoration” really F’s a person up. All the dirty car and shoe salesman of the world should sue their asses.
“From the Christian perspective, we think in terms of prayer, we think in terms of what we call godly counsel, where godly men who are clean themselves insert themselves in the life of the one who is struggling,” London said.
The symbolic laying on of hands may also be a part of the recovery, London said.
OOOO. Teddy’s gonna LOVE this! He’s gonna get hands, and laying, and insertion! It’ll be a warm-up for when he goes to jail on the meth charges.
Wait, I thought they were trying to make him straight?