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King of Falsified Evidence

Okay okay okay…

[UPDATED: To help illustrate, and assist the voters, graphics of the comments in question have been added…]

Speaking of competence, which is funnier?:

With 12 precincts reporting,
Totals Thus Far:

DaveScot: 2
AFDave: 10

“Well, no, they aren’t REAL marines praying in that picture, but they COULD be so that proves my point! -dt”

(The long-time and well known Photoshop hoax of Marines praying…)

Photoshopped Marines

or

“Well yes, I DID use my magic marker to add all those data points, but if they WERE on that graph, then the earth might be 6000 years old, so that proves my point! -AFDt”

(First AFDave posts a graph…)

Dave Modified

Then AFDave expounds upon his point…)

Dave Expounds

(JohnF very kindly posts the original graph…)

Dave Original

(Steve Story expounds upon AFDave…)

Dave Explained


In the spirit of election day, we should have a vote for “King of Falsified Evidence”.

Vote here.

Vote early, vote often.

Filed under: Fundies, Humor, Religion, Time Sink

30 Responses

  1. AJ Milne says:

    I think I gotta go with the dots, thanks. Truly classic.

    The marines thing is good… but in his own forum, it ends too soon. Yes, it’s got that quick, punchy, nightclub one-liner quality; it kicks out that quick, hearty guffaw… but it fails to rise to the level of artistic greatness of the dating stuff.

    I’m a bit of a sadist, ultimately, I guess. I like it drawn out, lots of the twisting on the hook, rationalization after rationalization from the mark, a huge, fat target for satire just sitting there (and now non-retractable, thanks to its having been delightedly and safely archived in a third party image bank) begging for more mockery. Gags about measles, ‘tard’ spelled out in connect the dots, brand new and beautifully approriate nicknames like ‘magic marker Dave’ arising, pages of the poor dear putting on that brave ‘n snarky front, trying to distract the gallery from noticing he’s wearing no pants, while said gallery erupts in wave after wave of laughter… He is naked, shrivelled, and tiny, in the cold, and it is at once hilarious and tragic–the would-be conqueror of the world flees the capital, and we see he is an anemic adolescent afflicted with acne, armed with a cardboard sword, and the populace roars its approval.

    It’s all so darkly beautiful… Tragic… yet hilarious… We laugh at the poor guy, so hard it hurts…

    I would compare it to a Chaplin film. But here, the arrogance of the mark obviates any great need of sympathy. So, nay, it’s its own artform, and something entirely new. Unique to the medium. And entirely breathtaking. I give it my highest review.

  2. Rich Hughes says:

    Davetard wins it, for his multiple revisions, including qouting himself to try and make the story consistant. It’s funny that “agnostic/atheist” Dave is so pro prayer. Then he shouts at the fundies for their YEC posts. He is a odious twat of the highest order.

    Girls, still waiting for my threesome.

  3. AJ, DaveScot went through all the rationalizing and twisting of words just like AFDave. But DaveScot edited it all out in the end.

    I have to go with DaveScot.

  4. Kristine says:

    Well, I was going to vote for DaveScot but now it’s AFDave. Damn it. What’s AFDave ever done for me? (Sniff) At least DaveScot visited my blog and paid me a big old tardy compliment. But AFDave is deliciously surreal.

    However, I do think that we have a quorum to start a DaveScot Science Moment blog in which we can post Davey’s best. “This DaveScot Science Moment brought to you by Duct Tape. Duct Tape, America’s best friend.”

  5. blipey says:

    I’ve got to vote for AFDave. His complete imbecility lends itself nicely to one-liners.

    DaveTard’s special brand of stupidity is best appreciated with a nice bottle of Malbec (or Glenmorangie portwood aged scotch, depending on the day) from a high, scenic perch where its glorious spread can be seen fully. This takes a little time and dedication, but is highly worth the effort.

    For a quickie though, i just gotta go with the AFDave.

  6. Argy Stokes says:

    This is a really tough one. The marines post was obviously bullshit, and takes a pretty special Tard to fall for that kind of thing. But AFDave’s red dots just add a new level of ridiculosity, since after adding the “data,” he proceeded to analyze his own made-up graph to try and prove a point. People like me (and Carlson, I think) who weren’t following closely were of course initially confused at the goofy picture with two sets of dots with no explanation for what they were. Thus, realization of the stupidity of the falsified data was even better, because of the constant reference to it as if it were real.

    My vote is for delayed gratification, and Dave Hawkins of TriCity Ministries and Kids4truth.

  7. Biogeer says:

    Davescot is the career all-timer, the Jordan-Gretzky-Pele-Ali of ‘tard.

    Nonetheless, on a comparison of just these two examples, I have to give the nod to afdave.

  8. carlsonjok says:

    I gotta go with AFDave.

    DaveScot is just a miserable old curmudgeon. If he wasn’t Dembski’s hired goon, he would probably be arguing with his neighbors about the the acorns from their tree falling on his side of the property line and writing angry letters to the Austin American-Statesman. While he may vex those who come into contact with him, his impact on the wider world is essentially nil

    AFDave, on the other hand, is pretty intent on overthrowing most of modern science in the name of biblical literalism. That he is
    singularly inept at it doesn’t mean that he won’t do some damage, even if only to the innocents looking up at him in the Sunday School he teaches.

    In short, between the two, I have to pick the real cultural warrior and that is, hands down, AFDave.

  9. Dave says:

    All hail AFDave, Lord of the Tards!

  10. Rich Hughes says:

    Geez…

    DaveTard can’t even win a tard-off..

  11. JanieBelle says:

    Boy, I woulda bet the ranch this would be a close race!

    Hi to the new fellers, and to our loyal fans!

    (I’ve recused myself from the vote for obvious reasons, so I’m tryin’ not to say much either way in this thread.)

    Kisses to everyone!

  12. Arden Chatfield says:

    I agree. It’s gotta be AFDave for this.

    While it was delightful to see DT falling hook line and sinker for a stupid internet urban legend — especially pushing all his God, Country and Semper Fi buttons as it did — at the end of the day, it was just Dave not being terribly bright. Nothing we’re not used to.

    But AFD’s dots are different. I mean, picture it. We’re having a discussion, and as usual the data totally fails to support AFD’s YEC idiocy, when up he pops with a graph that casts doubt on the discussion and seems to support his theory. Everyone was confused for a while wondering where he got this data. Dave casually admits that well, I just filled in those dots on the graph myself, but you gotta admit, if the data really did look like that, I’D BE RIGHT, AND YOU’D BE WRONG!

    I mean, shit, it just takes your breath away to contemplate a mind that wouldn’t see anything wrong with ‘arguing’ that way. Even DaveScot wouldn’t be shameless enough to do something that baldfacedly tardy. Even DS probably he shook his head in disgust when he saw it. I’ll bet he even laughed when he saw Steve Story’s TARD graph.

    For sheer magical performance art, it’s gotta be Dave Hawkins on this one.

  13. Rich Hughes says:

    The infamous ‘TARD CHART’ was magic. I cried.

  14. JanieBelle says:

    Yeah, Steve Story had us (all three of us) in stitches.

    I was just looking back there again today, and yet again I was laughing out loud when I saw it.

    Truly Classic.

  15. Kristine says:

    Geez…DaveTard can’t even win a tard-off..

    DaveTard demands a recount. On one hand. The other’s occupied (he probably has my friggin’ glossy on his wall by now).

    Daffy Dave takes over the looney house.

    Steve Story’s chart is award-winning, no? (The awards! The awards! Aren’t they a-comin’ up?)

  16. JanieBelle says:

    Kristine!

    Well, we’d tell you what we do with your glossy, but you specifically said no perverted comments…

    Don’t worry, we make The Boy close his eyes first.

    On another note, the Tard Awards.

    Well, everyone sort of lost interest. It was Rich’s show, we were just hosting. If everyone wants, we can drag that back up to the top and pick it up where we left off.

    Shoot for having the ceremony and gala ’round Thanksgiving? Black Friday might be a good time.

    Thoughts?

  17. “Well, we’d tell you what we do with your glossy, but you specifically said no perverted comments…

    Don’t worry, we make The Boy close his eyes first.”

    We’re kidding, of course. Not that we wouldn’t. I mean, not without your permission. Uh.. I mean we were just joking… not that you aren’t deserving… uh.. forget it.

    It was meant as a compliment, let’s just leave it at that.

  18. PiGuy says:

    One vote for AFDave.

    Make the data fit the prediction, dammit!

  19. Kristine says:

    Uh.. I mean we were just joking… not that you aren’t deserving… uh.. forget it.

    [Muse stands and nods, and wiggles fingers to indicate “more compliments”]

    MMmmm-hmmm…that’s right, you three. The Muse is merciful. Now kiss my foot. 😉

  20. JanieBelle says:

    Mwah! Want a foot massage?

  21. Yeah, we surrender. Should we tie ourselves up?

    Please?

  22. Lou FCD says:

    I just do what I’m told.

  23. Rich Hughes says:

    The awards are forthcomming.

    Davetard will hopefully be there.. as will AFD Dave.

  24. JanieBelle says:

    Hi Rich!

    Are you the Rich who sent us all the lovely traffic from Dispatches?

    I’m assuming you are, so thanks.

    Kisses from bo’fus.

    You might just get that threesome yet…

    But don’t you owe us a guest post?

  25. Rich Hughes says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  26. Rich Hughes says:

    I do, but have little skills to offer; Tard mockery isn’t very PC.

    I’d like to ask IDers, though, how much CSI in god, and what does that tell us about his origin?

  27. JanieBelle says:

    The deal was for any subject on which you cared to pontificate.

    Knock yourself out.

  28. Rich Hughes says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  29. Rich Hughes says:

    Open Message to Fundies:

    Hey Fundies, shut up! – It’s for your own good. Let’s assume that you are actually on the right path and there is a god and all that, why go and spoil it all by being such bad adverts for your cause?

    If I saw a subset of society that was loving, caring, smart, a joy to be around, tolerant of others and who lead by example I might think, “Gosh! What’s their secret?” I’d be all over that like it had blue cheese on it.

    Similarly, If I see a group of intolerant, bigoted, science denying lying braggarts, I’m likely to think,”Gods people? Bwahahahahah!”

    Here’s my WEDGIE strategy for you.

    Focus on being nice, not shit.
    Let people convert themselves without help, because you club is SOOO kewl.
    If reality doesn’t fit with your creation story, just move on. Don’t start a thousand year disinformation campaign.
    Try to be inclusive, not exclusive.
    The creator probably doesn’t like to be misrepresented…
    Your ‘inerrant book’ is not a logical argument, nor a font of fact.

    It’s a big world, with room for everyone. I understand the unknown is scary and mortality sucks. We are all both noble and wretched together. There is no one above my fellow man on my list, in all candor, you can’t say the same.

  30. deadman_932 says:

    Oh, for sheer tardosity, it’s AFDave at the moment. DaveTard I hasn’t allowed the comments on his tardiliciousness to shine through nearly as much, but I suspect he’d give AFDave a run for his money if he accepts my offer to use a proxy and post at AtBC.

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Order of the Science Scouts

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