UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

John A. Davison Office Pool

(Post by Kate)
Place your bets, the prize is a guest post on our blog, uncensored, on any subject.

No “F bomb”, that’s the only restriction, unless Janie can think of something else.
[Edit – No porn. See This Comment below]


How long will it be before John A. Davison gets banned from UD?

Place your bets here. Closest guess without going over wins.

For example, if one person guesses 10 days and one guesses 15 days and he’s banned on day 14, whoever bet 10 days wins.

[EDIT – We are now offering a second prize. Closest guess without going under will also win a guest post. See This Comment below.]

Anyone have a date for his first post over there? Was it yesterday?

Is this his first comment?

If so, then today is Day 1. [EDIT – Day one ends at Midnight Eastern Daylight Time, today, 25JUL06. See comments below.]

Kate

Current Standings (red highlight indicates winner if he is banned today)

Bourgeois Rage has July 25th.
Steve Story has July 28th. FORFEIT
Arden Chatfield has July 30th.
Blipey has August 4th.
DaveScot has August 14th.
Lifewish has August 20th.
Alan Fox has August 28th.
AJ has October 31st.

UPDATE: Looks like we have our winners! “JAD was banned at 8:50pm, CST, on 8/30/06.” Alan Fox and AJ each get to make a guest post. Email your posts to us, boys, and we’ll get them posted for you.

Filed under: Fundies, Humor, Religion, Time Sink

86 Responses

  1. DaveScot says:

    Put me down for 21 days. This all depends on how much he’s drinking these days. There could be cheating too if someone were to post a comment on UD pointing to some of the less flattering things he’s said about Bill Dembski and evangelical Christians.

    So how’s the short timer doing?

  2. DaveScot says:

    Yes, the begin date was 24JUN06.

  3. JanieBelle says:

    Dave said:

    Put me down for 21 days.
    Dave’s down for 21. [EDIT – That’s sometime Monday, 14Aug06.]

    This all depends on how much he’s drinking these days.

    His style seems same as always, I doubt there’s any change in that.

    There could be cheating too if someone were to post a comment on UD pointing to some of the less flattering things he’s said about Bill Dembski and evangelical Christians.

    Play her where she lands. It’s all part of the fun.

    So how’s the short timer doing?

    26 and a wake up!
    “It’s the end of the world as we know it,
    And I feel fine!” – REM

    Ok, the start date is established. Today is day 1 and since his comment posted at 22:40, let’s round it off to midnight. Day one ends at midnight tonight.

    Kisses,
    Kate

  4. blipey says:

    Give me August 4th; I don’t have Dave’s confidence in UD’s patience. Though, JAD could forget to post for a while, lengthening his stay.

  5. JanieBelle says:

    Okey Dokey.

    Blipey gets August 4th.

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle and Kate

  6. DaveScot says:

    The plot thickens.

    Scott just put up an article which is a Davison screed in its entirety. This will greenlight John to begin another round of late night rum inspired insults of Christian fundamentalists.

    Scott evidently doesn’t realize that that Davision spent the last 4 months villifying Dembski on a daily basis on his blog. O’Leary’s memory must be going bad as she emailed Davison inviting him back. O’Leary banned Davison at her own blog according to John in a recent entry where he took a swipe at her.

    John’s contempt for “fundies” like Dembski, O’Leary, and even Scott is uncontainable for long. I can hardly wait for the first time he tells someone on UD to touch themselves until they stain themselves (which is why *I* banned him). I fear Blipey may have chosen a better target for John’s inevitable eviction.

  7. blipey says:

    I don’t know, Dave. That makes it sound like he won’t even make August. Oh well, I suppose I should have known. I guess we can hope he drinks himself into a stupor and doesn’t wake up for a few days….

    On a blogger note…hilarious!!!
    My word verification is idosuck.

    What are you trying to tell me?

  8. Arden Chatfield says:

    You guys are giving Davison WAY too much credit. Put me down for July 30. That gives him thru the end of the week to shit all over himself. Metaphorically, that is.

    I didn’t know Davison’s rants were rum inspired but that certainly would explain a lot.

    I love it so!

  9. JanieBelle says:

    I fear Blipey may have chosen a better target for John’s inevitable eviction.

    Too funny…

    Put me down for July 30.

    Hi Arden! Done!

    Anyone gonna take “Tomorrow”?

    On a blogger note…hilarious!!!
    My word verification is idosuck.

    What a riot. I’ve had some funny ones, but you sort of had to extrapolate a little.

    Yours seems to have been a bit more direct. Perhaps the Blogger powers that be don’t like the new look of your blog? Good thing it’s in WordPress.

    Kisses to you both from us both.

    JanieBelle and Kate

  10. Anonymous says:

    Put me down for July 28.

    -steve s

  11. JanieBelle says:

    Ok, Statler or Waldorf?

    I guess you can share.

    Steve S. has July 28.

  12. JanieBelle says:

    I’m going to add one more restriction:

    No Porn.
    Hot, Steamy Romance -good
    Porn -bad

    i.e.
    “We made wild passionate love all night” is ok.

    “I stuck my PeePee in her HooHoo” is not.

    Just in case.

    🙂

    JanieBelle

  13. Put me down for Right now.

  14. JanieBelle says:

    Bourgeois gets today.

    Has been banned already? I just checked but didn’t see it.

  15. JanieBelle says:

    And what’s up with your site being down, BR? Your pic disappeared with it the other day.

  16. No, but that gives me all the time up to the next earliest. I can’t imagine he’ll last terribly long. He’s got to already be on the sh*t list over there, and one screw up will probably lead to the end of this contest.

    Also, my avatar will be screwed up for a few days as I just moved my server and I haven’t sorted out all the firewall issues yet.

  17. JanieBelle says:

    Okee Doke on both counts.

  18. JanieBelle says:

    Kate and I have been discussing this little pool we have going.

    We might have done better to have set it up the other way, where the person who guessed the 15th would win.

    However, we can’t be changing the rules in the middle of the contest so drastically.

    Here’s what we’re going to do:

    We are going to award TWO guest posts. One for closest without going over, one for closest without going under. If someone guesses the exact day, that person gets both.

    Fair enough?

  19. JanieBelle says:

    I think if I had to bet, Bourgeois will probably win the under and Steve the over, for sure. I can’t imagine Davison will last ’til Friday over there.

    But what do I know?

    JanieBelle

  20. Alan Fox says:

    Things have slowed down, it’s Summer, he could go on for a while.

    28th August

  21. JanieBelle says:

    OOO.. Alan thinks he may last a while. Strategy, perhaps?

    Alan has August 28th.

    And who says the evolutionists have no faith?

    Seems Alan has it in spades.

    🙂

  22. blipey says:

    I thought the current ID thought on Evolutionists was that no one had more faith…ToE is a religion and all, yada yada yada

  23. JanieBelle says:

    oh yeah. forgot.

    I have a blog to run, I don’t have time for the comings and goings of such things, blipey.

    🙂

  24. JanieBelle says:

    Ok, brief update…

    Bourgeois Rage has today.
    Steve Story has July 28th. forfeited.
    Arden Chatfield has July 30th.
    Blipey has August 4th.
    DaveScot has August 14th.
    Alan Fox has August 28th.

    Anyone thinking about what they’re going to yack about if they win? Just curious, no need to reveal any secret master plans.

  25. DaveScot says:

    Since peepees and hoohoos are out I was thinking about the story of when I sailed the Skin Boat to Tuna Town. :-p

  26. DaveScot says:

    Crap. John’s already talking about sperm. This is how he gets the balls rolling. I’m gonna lose big time.

  27. JanieBelle says:

    Yeah, it ain’t lookin’ good for the home team, there Dave.

    jb

  28. Anonymous says:

    On July 25, 2006 4:02 PM, JanieBelle said…

    I think if I had to bet, Bourgeois will probably win the under and Steve the over, for sure.

    I was in a bind. Denyse reinvited Davison because she has no idea what a cretin he is. So I was motivated to pick as soon as possible. That would give me four days to win before the 30th hit. Problem is, if I picked today, some nutsack would Price Is Right me and pick tomorrow. So I split the difference. Though I don’t think Denyse will ban him, she seems kind of benignly brainless. Davison will be banned by the snake oil salesman with the pencil neck.

    -steve s

  29. Anonymous says:

    Dembski has found the perfect workhorse in Denyse. With Davetard, there was too much chance he’d figure out it was all a cheap magic show to line Dembski’s pockets. Davetard’s an average intellect with an understanding of science around high-school level. Denyse is not only dimmer, she has effectively no understanding of science. Like kindergarten level. She might run that site for years to come.

    -steve s

    Knock it off. – JanieBelle

  30. JanieBelle says:

    Steve said:
    Problem is, if I picked today, some nutsack would Price Is Right me and pick tomorrow.

    Well since there’s two posts up for grabs now, that should give everyone more of a fighting chance.

    We’re generous that way.

    Sorry guys, my heart’s not really in this today. Forgive me if I’m not as prolific or verbose as usual.

  31. DaveScot says:

    So Steve, are you going to start studying science some day? I reckon with me at high school level that puts me about 12 years ahead of you. Dumbass.

    You too. Please don’t retaliate, Dave.- JanieBelle

  32. Arden Chatfield says:

    The real problem with UD nowadays is that it’s no longer funny. It’s simply a bore.

  33. blipey says:

    Oooooh, Oooooh!!! Can I play, too? I also want a tongue waving at me!

    I thought everyone was tired of talking about science…or was it just evo / ID?

    In the event that I CAN get a tongue waving at me:

    EVOLUTION, IDiots, Tard, Dumbass, Bananator, SLoT (Sorry, that was an accident of cut and paste -jb)

    And my favorite:
    ID programmatics is a schema of experimentations designed to resonate in an appropriate, modern, non-materialistic paradigm concerning the ontological necessities of life in a non-sectarian, but relevant, organization of progressive new-scientists who will more adequately prepare our robust society with the knowledge to continue our ascendancy into a non-violent, paradisic existence.

    Disco: feel free to use without royalty.

  34. JanieBelle says:

    Feel free to bash Denyse as much as you please, however.

    Talk about science all you like. I just want everyone to stop picking on Dave. That’s all.

    It just seems that none of my science questions get answered without some slight pointed at Dave, if at all. Why is that?

    That bugs me.

    Kisses
    JanieBelle

  35. blipey says:

    Aw, how come steve and Dave can say “Tard” and “dumbass” but mine get erased?

    It was said in the same vein (sp?) as the ID Programmatics….

    Thanks for the tongue, though.

  36. JanieBelle says:

    Are you sure you know how to use a computer?

    🙂

  37. blipey says:

    The line before the posted screed:

    IDiots, Tard, dumbass, bananator, etc…

    you’re killing me 😛

  38. JanieBelle says:

    Sorry, accident by fatigue.

    All better now.

    JanieBelle

  39. blipey says:

    but at least it’s softly…

  40. JanieBelle says:

    …with a song, too.

  41. AJ says:

    Well….JAD is behaving himself really well (so far), and being allowed back into UD has given him the attention that he has been desperately craving for since last November, when he opened his so-called blog. So, believe it or not, I will give him at least two months until he gets back into self-destruct mode (which is programmed…oops, ‘prescribed’ in his behavior). So put me down for October end.

  42. JanieBelle says:

    Hi AJ!

    Good to see you comment!

    AJ, giver of eye-candy to little girls, takes Halloween.

    Duly recorded.

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle

  43. Anonymous says:

    -steve s

    Sock puppet this. -jb

  44. Anonymous says:

    Steve, you’re such a brilliant pain in the ass. Please tell us more about how you violate yourself during your day-to-day activities. We’re all ears.

    Fixed that for ya’ Steve. Buh bye, don’t let the door hit you in the ass. – jb

  45. JanieBelle says:

    The rules of the blog are pretty simple.

    1. No gratuitous venom at each other on this blog.

    2. See rule 1.

    3. Try to watch your mouth, but if the occasional swear pops out, don’t sweat it.

    4. See rule 1.

    Steve Story has apparently decided he doesn’t want to play here. No big loss, he has a whole thread at AtBC to say whatever he wants about UD and it’s members, and spew whatever garbage he chooses.

    He won’t be doing it here anymore.

    Therefore, I have declared on my own personal dictatorial whim that he has forfeited his place in the pool as well as his right to comment on this blog until such time as he posts a public apology here or hell freezes over, whichever comes first.

    Of course, that’s good news for Bourgeois Rage and Arden Chatfield.

    On with the show.

  46. Anonymous says:

    you could at least blah blah blah charade blah blah elaborate tricks, blah blah missing the point blah.

    I found it. It’s on the top of your head. -jb

  47. JanieBelle says:

    No apology, no comment Steve.

    It’s really that simple.

    JanieBelle

  48. DaveScot says:

    Classic!

    I am afraid to say anything for fear of being banned once again.

    “Discretion is the better part of valour.”
    Shakespeare

    Comment by John A. Davison — July 26, 2006 @ 7:23 pm

    For John, courage comes from a bottle. A few snorts and instead of Shakespeare he’ll be quoting Patton i.e. “War, God help me, I love it so!”.

  49. JanieBelle says:

    Methinks he doth drink too much.

    I really wish someone would show him how to make another post on his blog. It’s terribly annoying.

    Maybe he’s going for the Guinness Book of World Records for most amount of comments to one post.

  50. JohnADavison says:

    Hey guys and girls

    Thanks for all the crack addict recovery literature. there is no such thing as bad crack. I thouight everybody knew that.

    I predict that not only will I not be banned but that I may even be able to get my porn links restored on the side bar. You know, all those naked pictures of me fondling myself that Dave purged from Uncommonly Disgustipatin’ some time ago. He burns those quite frequently you know. I am widely known in internet circles as “Old Fruitcake.”

    Now of course I may abandon My Single Post Blog but I don’t think so now that you are all making such funny cracks about my inky dinky winky.

    My masochism is hard to believe isn’t it?

    I love My Peepee so!

    “My past intelligence is undeniable, my present brain is undemonstrable.”
    John A. Davison

    Take a hint, Davison. — Kate

  51. AJ says:

    Breaking news! JAD *finally* got wind of the bet! Yay! Scroll down to the 91,723rd comment on his one-post-blog to read about this!

    PS: JAD, do you know what you are widely known in the internet circles as?

  52. AJ says:

    This post has been removed by the author.

  53. AJ says:

    JAD bets that he will not be banned at UD…is he included in the pool too? What if he wins the guest post? (*shudder*)

  54. JanieBelle says:

    Davison is disqualified from winning in any event.

    One, it would be too easy for him to force his own banning at a time of his choosing.

    Two, he’s been banned here, and as he is unable to comment with some semblance of coherence, sanity, or civility, he gets no love from us.

    All future posts by the human dingleberry will be addressed in a similar manner to the one just above.

    He is unwelcome here until such time as he renders public apology to us, our readers, and Dave in particular.

    JanieBelle and Kate

  55. DaveScot says:

    I must say that what jb and ck do to banned commenters comments is way funnier and more creative than my now infamous disemvoweler. I shoulda thought of that!

  56. JanieBelle says:

    YOU sir, may have invented it.

    WE perfected it.

    Some things just take a woman’s touch.

    JanieBelle and Kate

    😛

  57. Arden Chatfield says:

    YOU sir, may have invented it.

    WE perfected it.

    Some things just take a woman’s touch.

    Did you get the idea one day while playing Mad Libs?

  58. JanieBelle says:

    Actually, we were inspired by Dave’s famous bold comments, and once we got the comment editor, it sort of evolved to its current form.

    The “banned” smilie is priceless, though. We saw that and knew we had to have it.

    I’m having trouble getting the images to upload to Blogger. Blogger keeps changing the animated gif files to static png files.

    The sites where they are hosted are specifically set up for hotlinking, but I really hate depending on someone else’s site for our smilies. What happens if they close up shop?

    I looked into hosting them at flkr or whatever that is, but they don’t do animated gifs, either.

    Suggestions would be helpful, but I guess we’re ok for now.

    I’ll make a separate post for the smilie codes, so that you all can see which codes do what.

    I’m still not sure what IE’s problem is, though. It’s something about the javascript that runs them that IE doesn’t like.

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle

  59. blipey says:

    Blogger may have an option that lets you host your blog elsewhere. WordPress does. If you could find another hosting service, you could upload your own HTML and host all the images, etc from your own machine. Geocities (definitely not recommending it, but it’s the first that came to mind) allows this.

  60. JanieBelle says:

    Blogger may have an option that lets you host your blog elsewhere. WordPress does…

    Actually they do, but I had considered it more trouble than it was worth up ’til now.

    I’m just getting the template tweaked, and since much of it is blogger specific code, I’d have to rewrite a bunch of it from scratch. I don’t know that I’m really up for that right now.

    Not to say it won’t happen, just not right now.

    :-O

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle

  61. JanieBelle says:

    No more takers on the JAD pool? It’s FREE.

    TWO awesome guest posts on any subject, without censorship!

    C’MON! Place your bets, people!

    :-k

    JanieBelle and Kate

  62. blipey says:

    It’s within the week. I’m feeling better about Friday the 4th!

  63. Lifewish says:

    If this is still open then I’ll go for August 20th, s’il te plait.

  64. blipey says:

    If I win, Dave can have my post.

  65. JanieBelle says:

    Well that’s rather generous of you, blipey.

    Dare I ask — why?

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle

  66. blipey says:

    Okay. This is the day! The day I win the pool and get to see what Dave really wants to talk about, since it apparently isn’t ID.

    I hope my gift will be worthwhile. ;pirate:–

  67. Good luck, blipey.

    Sorry I can’t say much more right now. As I just told Dave Janie’s really sick today.

    Kisses, nice to see you ’round.

    Kate

  68. blipey says:

    So, I suppose we’re on EST? Does that mean I’ve lost now? Crap. I hate losing. Any chance we can get this on the semi-permanent links list, until we have awinner, that is?

  69. blipey says:

    Okay then; who’s up next? Is it DaveScot?

  70. blipey,

    Yes, we’re on Eastern time.

    You haven’t lost yet, there’s two posts up for grabs, one in either direction. You haven’t lost until August 14th.

    As of now, you and Dave are the ones who would win one post each.

    And it’s already ON the semi-permanent links list, and has been for some time. Look closer.

    Kisses,
    Kate

  71. blipey says:

    Damn wvga screens…font’s too damn small on firefox! I’ll have to change that…or start wearing contacts.

  72. JanieBelle says:

    I see DAJ is still keeping an eye on this thread…

    Funny.

  73. JanieBelle says:

    If you want to win, blipey, you might go better poke DAJ with a stick. Your time shortens, while Lifewish steps into the “on deck circle”, to borrow a phrase from your beloved baseball.

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle

  74. JanieBelle says:

    I am having a ball over at his old stomping grounds, Uncommon Descent. Please look in and enjoy my heresies and blasphemous behavior. Join in if you are up to it.

    Judging by his latest, he may not need a great deal of prodding, though.

  75. JohnADavison says:

    How many are still in the office pool? I can’t last forever at Uncommon Descent. Internet forums are like that don’t you know.

    “Oooh that’s good booze.”
    Jackie Gleason

    “How sweet it is.”
    ibid

    “You don’t want to call them sluts because the twats don’t like it.”
    after Archie Bunker

  76. JohnADavison says:

    I am not banned either. If I were banned you wouldn’t have to keep deleting me.

    Kisses

  77. JohnADavison says:

    Come on ladies and that includes Spravid Dinger of course. Show us all your cellulite ridden overweight asses.

    I love it so!

  78. JanieBelle says:

    Javison pandered thusly:

    Come on ladies and that includes Spravid Dinger of course. Show us all your cellulite ridden overweight asses.

    You realize of course that you have just committed a felony in two countries, right? Asking for nude pictures of a 17 year old girl who’s an American citizen vacationing in the UK may make you an international pedophile, unless I’m quite mistaken. Don’t worry, I’ll check with Daddy this afternoon just to be sure. Did I mention that he’s a retired attorney? A prosecutor, to be exact.

    See you in the funny papers, scumbag.

  79. JohnADavison says:

    There is always liposuction. You too Dinger!

  80. Alan Fox says:

    Hi Janiebelle and Kate

    Hope you had a good time in England. The photos made me feel quite homesick.

    On topic, does a self-imposed banning count? JAD seems to have banned himself from Denyse and Dave’s threads and Salvador has closed comments on his thread.

  81. DaveScot says:

    JAD was banned at 8:50pm, CST, on 8/30/06.

    I banned him so I can’t win anything. I don’t know who this causes to win either.

    The reason was he started flippantly talking about altar boys being molested by priests. Given the predominantly Christian participants of the blog I think this must have been his way of asking to banned again. I was happy to oblige.

  82. JanieBelle says:

    Alan said, Hope you had a good time in England.

    We did, Alan. It was a wonderful trip in nearly every regard.

    The photos made me feel quite homesick.

    I hope our pics brought you more joy than pain. In fact, we have plenty more to share. I haven’t even finished picking out the best pictures from my camera, and I still have Kate’s camera and the video to sort through.

    We’ve been on Ernesto duty, and I guess we’ll have some clean up to do after he’s blown through. I’ll do the best I can to get them up quickly, but I’m thoroughly exhausted, to be quite honest.

    And of course, fixing DAJ’s comments for him is unfortunately the first thing I have to do whenever I do get the chance to look at my own blog. That can be entertaining sometimes, but other times, I’m just tired and wish I didn’t have to deal with my little pet perv-troll. Alas, we all have our crosses to bear.

    🙂

    On topic, does a self-imposed banning count?

    Moot point I suppose.

    Kisses,
    JanieBelle and Kate

  83. […] Here’s the announcement by DaveScot at UDOJ – “JAD was banned at 8:50pm, CST, on 8/30/06.I banned him so I can’t win anything. I don’t know who this causes to win either. […]

  84. […] In the John A. Davison Office Pool thread, DAJ asked for naked pictures of me. Has he committed a crime in two countries? Come on ladies and that includes Spravid Dinger of course. Show us all your cellulite ridden overweight asses. […]

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