UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

Ok, this is too funny from back home

With apologies to the AP, I have to reprint their whole article:

Efforts To Get Out Of Jury Duty Land Man In Jail

(AP) COLUMBUS, Ohio Benjamin Ratliffe tried so hard to get out of jury duty that he found himself in jail.

Ratliffe, 21, of Columbus, was ordered to spend a night in jail after claiming he was a heroin addict and a killer during jury selection for a death-penalty case.

Ratliffe filled out a questionnaire for potential jurors and professed to having a “bad jonesin’ for heroin.” When asked if he had ever fired a weapon, he wrote, “Yes. I killed someone with it, of course. Right.”

On Thursday, Ratliffe, who charged with contempt of court and obstruction of justice, apologized to Franklin County Common Pleas Judge Julie M. Lynch.

“He didn’t try to defend his responses, and he lied under oath and he was insubordinate,” said Lynch, who ultimately removed Ratliffe from the jury pool and dismissed the charges against him. “You do not make a mockery of the process.”

(© 2006 The Associated Press. All Rights Reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.)

Sounds like ol’ Ben got the last laugh after all, though.

Here’s where I found the story

Filed under: Humor

7 Responses

  1. DaveScot says:

    I’ve never been tapped for jury duty but I’ve rehearsed in my head things I could say to get out of it. My favorite so far:

    “I think I would make an excellent juror because I can tell if someone is innocent or guilty just by looking at them.”

  2. JanieBelle says:

    HAHAHA How about “Of COURSE he’s guilty! Look at those SHOES!”

  3. JanieBelle says:

    oh or how about “He has to innocent. He’s totally too dumb to do that.”

  4. JanieBelle says:

    “My doctor says I’m schizophrenic, and so am I. What if we vote different?”

  5. DaveScot says:

    I think you might find yourself sharing a cell with the unfortunate Mr. Ratliffe if you try those!

  6. JanieBelle says:

    Oh, Dear! Of course, I’d be the prettiest one on the cellblock, though!

    🙂

  7. JanieBelle says:

    (That was my Scarlett O’Hara voice)

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