UDreamOfJanie

Dream a Little Dream of Me.

White is a Right?

A peek above our garters to Feministing for this oddity:

You’ve got to be kidding me.  Guilt trips printed on a thong? Here’s what the thong says:

“Earn your right to wear white

Abstain”

And the description from the not-so-intelligent designer:

“Earn your right to wear white. Abstain from sex before marriage.”

Why not just add a picture of your Mom and Dad?  Better yet, make it from iron, and add a fracking lock to it!

But just to make things really interesting, the description from the manufacturer:

Panty-minimalists love our casual thong that covers sweet spots without covering your assets; putting an end to panty-lines. This under-goodie is “outta sight” in low-rise pants. Toss these message panties onstage at your favorite rock star or share a surprise message with someone special … later.

That’s too funny.

Hey, Dr. PZ put out the request for Cannibal Crackers.  I’m putting out a similar request:  I want anyone who scores these from a virgin to send them to me.  We’ll think of some suitable display for them, and then I’ll desecrate them in much more interesting ways than Dr. PZ did to the cracker.

Here’s the deal though:  I want them off a freshly deflowered virgin.  Now fly my pretties!  Seduce them all!  Muwahahahahahaha!

:)

Filed under: Fundies, Religion, Romance, Sex,

17 Responses

  1. Stephanie Z says:

    You would decide to do this in summer. If only you’d found out about these before prom….

    The best part is that there are places where they’d be so happy to let you hand them out to the kids for prom that they’d never look at the little note tucked in with each of them. Those places, of course, being where the kids would most appreciate the opportunity to help you.

  2. JanieBelle says:

    damn. That would have been sooooo awesome. I wish I’d heard of these then.

  3. Rystefn says:

    Yeah, I don’t think I know anyone who would wear those except as a joke, and I don’t know any virgins anymore anyway. Sorry, but I can’t help.

  4. Nothing has done more to encourage premarital (and possibly extra-marital) sex than the “recycled virgin” movement.

  5. a.real.girl says:

    I’m a little late to the party here (damn ComicCon wiped me out…I’m still exhausted two days later!) but I love that these bring a whole new level to the idea of “Fundies.”

    Kisses for you JanieBelle,
    A

  6. JanieBelle says:

    Rystefn,

    I don’t want to hear excuses. Just get on it. :)

    Kevin,

    You may very well be correct, I just don’t mind the result. If people are busy having wanton extra-marital sex, they are

    1)Too busy to worry about what I’m doing
    2)Too busy to be starting wars
    3)Too busy to hurt someone else
    4)In a better frame of mind to read my smut
    :)

    Darling A,

    HAH! “Fundies”!!!

    (go score me some!)

    Kisses to you all, all at once

  7. Stephanie Z says:

    Sure, they all get kisses. Just ’cause I made you wish you’d thought of something earlier….

  8. JanieBelle says:

    Steph, fair warning…

    When I put my lips to yours, they will not stop there.

  9. Stephanie Z says:

    But they will when you kiss the rest of them. Right. :)

  10. Tyler DiPietro says:

    “Better yet, make it from iron, and add a fracking lock to it!”

    Sounds kinda kinky…

  11. JanieBelle says:

    Steph,

    Now I never said any such thing. Pucker up.

    Tyler,

    It could be. It might go well with this.

    Kisses to you both

    (And Steph, feel free to come back for more.)

  12. Tyler DiPietro says:

    I was just thinking that the idea of relinquishing control of one’s sexual organs to a higher authority sounds like it fits well into the TPE ethos. Maybe this whole abstinence thing is just an excuse for kink.

  13. Tyler DiPietro says:

    On the other hand, that picture is seriously hot.

  14. JanieBelle says:

    Two things, Tyler:

    Unsurprising really, as the Bible is loaded with TPE imagery, minus the consent.

    …and yes. seriously hot.

  15. Rystefn says:

    The Bible is loaded with thermoplastic elastomers? That would be a huge point in favor of divine inspiration if it were true…

  16. JanieBelle says:

    …as it would if it contained the formula for transparent aluminum.

    That idea however, was thought up by a human, and made reality by humans.

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